With a new year, the familiar New Year Self comes back to life and demands some self-control once again . Is your inner mantra saying something like, I will get back into shape! I'm going to read 50 books this year! I won't spend a dime until next month!
And then February will come, and it's more like, Well I’m going to start running when it’s warm again. I'll start saving money next month. I just need to find the right book to get me started.
If you’re anything like me, your New Year's self may not have been very forthcoming. They told you that change was going to happen quickly this time around. They told you that if you mustered enough motivation, you should be able to do it because everyone else seems to be doing it.
In this time when immediate reward is the standard, it doesn't feel right to give ourselves permission to make a change in small increments. I know you want to have it all figured out right now, but maybe you weren't meant to have it all done today. Maybe there is something to learn in giving yourself time and space to change. You took a long time to form the habits you currently have. You can give yourself permission to take a gentler route toward change.
Maybe instead of the goal of "I'm going to lose 20 pounds," you could say "I'm going to change one thing about my eating habits this week, like packing my own healthy lunch rather than eating out." Then the next week, try adding another change like walking an extra 10 minutes after work. Instead of saying "I'm going to save so much money this year," you could say "I'm going to sit down with my finances and take a look at my spending. I'm going to find one area to cut spending in." When you've gotten that down, add another.
It's hard to wait for change to happen. But I think we are actually harming our ability to change by trying to do it all at once. Our brains make new neurons every single day, and so YES our brains and bodies can achieve amazing things. But they need consistent practice to make it happen.
Find a bite-sized goal you would feel good about doing every day for a week. That means, it should be realistic and achievable. And then pay attention to how it made you feel. Did you like what you achieved this week? Did it make you feel accomplished? Confident? Great, see if you can keep it up for the rest of the month. Did you hate every second of it and feel no better afterwards? Or maybe do it for one day and then stop? Then it's really OK to consider a different goal, or maybe break it down into smaller goals.
Let’s take care of ourselves while accomplishing great things. It's great to have goals! Your 2019 self will thank you for giving yourself the space and time you need to make them happen.